Will and Grace Quotes: Season 2

I have decided to do a few posts of my favourite Will and Grace quotes from the nine seasons, this is season 2.

 

Episode: Das Boob

[Grace is surprised when Will clamps his hands over her breasts.]

Will: I think you’ve sprung a leak.
Grace: What’re you talking about?

[He lifts his hands, and her water bra sprays twin streams.]

Will: I haven’t been with a woman in some time, but I’m pretty sure they’re not supposed to do that.”

Episode: Polk Defeats Truman

[Grace is unaware that Will has been fired]

Harlin: So, how’s Will doing?
Grace: I think you would know better than me.
Harlin: [sighs] Yeah, I would.
Grace: But don’t worry, I’m on him. I’m giving him a really hard time.
Harlin: Whoa! You’re a cold-hearted little thing, aren’t you?
Grace: Well, if he’s going to let work get to him like that…It’s just really unattractive.
Harlin: Grace, I don’t know how things work with the very modern relationship between you two, but in the great state of Texas you’d be considered a bitch.”

Episode: To Serve and Disinfect

[Jack has accidentally slammed the door onto Grace’s face.]

Grace: Ow! You crushed my nose. [exits]
Jack: Sorry! If it’s broken, we’ll get it fixed. [to Will] For the second time.
Grace: [sticking her head through the window] I heard that, you bitch.

Episode: Homo For The Holidays

Grace: Well, you’ve come on a good night. Jack’s mother is going to be joining us, and she doesn’t know Jack’s gay.
Karen: How could she not know? What is she, headless?”

Episode: I Never Promised You An Olive Garden

Karen: Honey, Stan can’t make it. He’s having some work done on his Mercedes. Or his…kidneys…I wasn’t really paying attention.

Episode: He’s Come Undone

Karen: C’mon, Rosario, up. I need you to whip up a batch of Cosmos. The Bronsons came back from the party with us, and I don’t like them when they’re sober.
Rosario: Why don’t I just squeeze you like a sponge? There’s enough alcohol in you to fill a hot tub.”

Episode: Acting Out

Karen: [about Josh] He should be killed.
Grace: He happens to be the sweetest, most thoughtful, most sensitive guy I have ever gone out with. I think he’s great.
Karen: He makes me wanna barf! I wanna kick him til he’s dead, honey.”

Episode: Advise and Resent

[Jack tries to teach Will how to be a good date]

Jack: I’m an expert. I go on literally thousands of dates a year.
Will: That doesn’t make you an expert, that makes you an escort.”

Episode: Hey La, Hey La, My Ex-Boyfriend’s Back

Grace: When you and I broke up it was for different reasons. I wanted to raise the kids Jewish, you wanted to sleep with men…

Episode: Sweet (and Sour) Charity

Jack: Give me one good reason that a man can’t go out in a nice pillbox hat. [puts on hat and looks at himself in the mirror] Hello, reason.

Episode: An Affair to Forget

[Ellen has just found out that Rob and Grace once slept together]

Rob: Honey, it meant nothing! You know I don’t like bony girls. It was like having sex with a cricket.
Grace: Oh, yeah? Well, I was fake chirping!

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